Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Limiting Your Success

What does success look like to you? Some equate success to financial gains. Others consider a promotion a success – or being a positive impact on their community a success. Before we can begin this discussion on success, let’s define what it is.

5 Habits of Highly Unsuccessful People

Whatever standard one uses to gauge achievement, we can be certain that the achievement of an intended goal is more than likely the baseline. For the purposes of this discussion, I’ll define success as reaching an intended goal or goals. While there are countless books and articles on how to be successful today, I want to take a different approach. As humans, we are creatures of habit. Therefore, I want to take a look at what tends to prevent our ability to be successful. Whether the particular goal is to lose weight, find our dream job or dream mate; the key is breaking the cycle of unproductive patterns.

1. Fail to plan, plan to fail

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” Benjamin Franklin said.He was exactly right. As a Relationship Expert, I constantly hear clients state that they can’t find anyone. Then, I ask what exactly are you looking for. The response I get is, “a good man” or “a good woman”. The adjective good is extremely relative. Hence, they don’t have a plan, and they wonder why they can’t find a “good” mate.Devising a plan to find a mate may seem forced, unnatural or sacrilegious for some, but I disagree. But you don’t have to take my word, try this assignment. Write a list of three to five couples you admire. Ask them did they have a list or an idea of the type of partner they wanted. After you get your answers come back to this article and let me know your results.Having a plan is a must to being successful!

2. Distractions, distractions, distractions

In our constantly connected technological world, distractions are everywhere. If it’s not an email, it’s a text message, phone call or social media update. It amazes me the number of ways we can be distracted by several stimuli simultaneously. I’m very guilty of this. My spouse will get on me about allowing my attention to be diverted while in mid-conversation. If I’m trying to work, it’s imperative I remove potential distractions from my immediate vicinity.But what happens when you can’t remove them?  When I worked in Corporate America, coworkers would popping-up at my desk asking questions that were relevant for work, but would ultimately become a major distraction. Instead of quickly addressing the issue or asking them to discuss it later, the distraction would overtake a significant amount of my time. So instead of reaching my goal at my intended time, I would have to stay later than I wanted to finish.Quickly determine what is distracting you and put a stop to it.

3. Consider your sphere of influence

“If this person would just…” “All I need her to do is…” “As soon as I can get him to…”One of the quickest ways not to reach your goal is trying to control another person. It’s so prevalent in romantic relationships. How many times have we heard couples going to therapy because one partner wants to fix the other? Yet, we can never change or control another person. A person might go along with what we ask them to do for a while. However, resentment will set in and while the individual might not overtly defy us, passive-aggressive behavior will ultimately surface.It’s hard enough controlling ourselves. But if we can’t get another person to do what we want, what options do we have?Determine what you can change! Find another person! Find another way! Be patient! Ask for guidance!Instead of trying to control others, spend time finding another alternative to reaching your goal.

4. Bend so you don’t break

While having a plan is a must to being successful, not being flexible will definitely keep you unsuccessful.You’ve probably heard “theory versus practice”.This is just another way of saying success is a result of being flexible.When you listen to the stories of some of the greatest businesses, the founders talk about what they initially planned didn’t work out. However, they were flexible enough to determine what was working and/or what could they change? Being malleable will sometimes give you an outcome better than what you envisioned.Stay flexible to be successful!

5. It’s time to meet the right people

When I wanted to be a recording artist, I knew I had to be around other recording artists; which meant I had to move. Upon arriving in Atlanta, I contacted a childhood church member who was going to college there. She connected me to one of her friends who dated a record producer at the time. That introduction landed me an internship and things progressed from there.Some of the best advice I can give anyone is to network constantly. Every person has value and if you are willing to share your experiences and knowledge with others, the same happens for you. The reason some people don’t reach their goals is that they aren’t cultivating positive relationships.Relationships are about give and take. If you are in a relationship where one person is mostly taking and the other is mostly giving, it’s a parasitic relationship. That type of relationship is destined to fail.The key to success is cultivating mutually beneficial relationships.Now that you know what five habits prevent success, look at your behavioral patterns and see which ones you are holding you back. Because… I want you to be, I want you to be successful!If you need assistance creating a workable plan and/or recognizing unproductive patterns, feel free to reach out to me at

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